For being a playground of memes, baby photos, and political grandstanding, social media has evolved complex social dynamics between an individual speaker and a vast, undefined audience.

Othering is one example of communication that uses a broad, accusatory tone and places the speaker on a seemingly unambiguous moral high ground. It’s also a form of tribe-signaling or virtue-signaling, letting your community know where you stand on a particular issue and shaping your reputation.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

When I reach out to my friends, it isn’t always as spontaneous as it seems. Sometimes it is scheduled, and it is deliberate. I’m not embarrassed about this. Memory is a fickle thing and if I want to stay in contact with friends I need to plan on communicating regularly. I do this using my second, or digital, brain. I have repeating reminders in my phone to ensure I never go too long without contacting friends, particularly the ones I don’t see in person because they live half a world away.

I’m easily overstimulated by social interactions, especially where I worry that I’ve misstepped, and sound/visual stimuli. Some days I have returned home from work, so overwhelmed, that I’ve become non-verbal: I’ve needed a dark, quiet space to recharge before speaking again.

It turns out there is a name for people like me: “high-reactives.”

To quote a dear friend, "The most impactful designs are often in the most challenging places."

After spending the better part of last year managing the design of the renovation and expansion of the Otero County Detention Center (OCDC) these words have never rung truer to me.

In the aftermath of trauma, in this case, the hateful acts in Charlottesville: helplessness is best countered with action. Take concrete, productive steps to support others in crisis, and share these ideas with others. Despair can be paralyzing; instead of responding to tragedy with silence, let your good deeds be contagious and inspiring.

I’ve compiled some actions to take, both for my own learning and to share with others. This is specifically framed around responding to the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville but the general rules can apply in many situations.